Master & Margarita
and Jesus Christ & me
This is a sequel. If you’re new here, go back and read the first edition first (or catch the audio, downloadable on any podcast player on the Let Go and Let God feed). If you’re old here, read it again, I’m really proud of it. Also I just reread it, it’s really good.
I finished Master & Margarita a second time this afternoon. It’s a book that is often cited by new members of our bookclub as a favorite, discussed regularly for it’s themes, beauty, and gun-toting cats. I was gifted a gorgeous Folio Society Edition (thank you again, MJ) and as I started reading a few weeks ago, my nostalgia for a novel I’d only read once, but came to me at just the right moment started right away.
Two years worth of reading has enlightened me on many things Russian: Stalin, Communism, show trials, and more (especially a second recent reading of Darkness at Noon). The Folio introduction included the suggestion that readers at time of publication would understand Jesus’ trial in comparison to the Moscow show trials. Interesting…I’m curious to know how religion survived (or didn’t) during that time, but I have never considered Communist Russians having Jesus on the brain. Or perhaps the reverse, they were always considering the show trials and Bulgakov writing about Jesus and Pilate was enough evocation.
But, despite more appreciation for the Russia of it all, the Jesus of it all really got me again. Chapter 29, page 341. Matthew Levi (yes, that Matthew) appears before Woland (aka Satan aka the great red dragon aka Lu aka the old serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, who seduceth the whole world…) on an errand from Yeshua Ha-Nozri, saying “[he] asks you to take the master with you and reward him with peace.” Woland answers, “But why don’t you take him with you into the light?” The answer, by a sorrowful Levi is, “He does not deserve the light, he deserves peace.”
And: Margarita, the now witch, and (soon to be eternal) optimist, is chiding the master for his fear of their future and his disbelief that they attended Satan’s ball only hours ago. His retort,
“I know that we’re both the victims of our mental illness, which, you perhaps got from me…Well, so we’ll bear it together…Of course, when people have been robbed of everything, like you and me, they seek salvation from other-worldly powers.”
The master is referencing to Satan’s powers, but still. Even Peter, a chosen member of Jesus’ apostles, after all the miracles, didn’t believe he would be safe walking on water, and eventually denied the Lord three times before the cock crowed. What’s a Satan’s ball fever dream among friends, babe? But yeehaw, that’s it, exactly it, isn’t it. At least, for me. Even during a part of my life where I am so full of joy and love that I’m shaking every moment, sometimes, darkness slips in and the burden becomes so heavy, I cannot carry it alone. But, I no longer do.
Like the master and Margarita, I am granted peace, but not the light. I am not free from this particular burden, but through peace comes stillness and life. The master and Margarita aren’t sent to hell, after living through it. They are given each other and a place to be, together.
Listen to the stillness,’ Margarita said to the master…’listen and enjoy what you were not given in life - peace. Look, there ahead is your eternal home, which you have been given as a reward…I know that in the evenings you will be visited by those you love, those who interest you and who will never trouble you…you will fall asleep with a smile on your lips. Sleep will strengthen you…And you will no longer be able to drive me away. I will watch over your sleep. (384)
While reading these final pages, only one dramatic tear was shed, even while these moments stood out to me just as strongly as the first, sobbing, time around. Light is all puffy clouds and a conversation with my father. But if peace is what I’m allowed, that isn’t so bad.
And now…
I’ve been thinking about a post-Easter post, which technically yes, it is post Easter, but every night this week I thought about writing and didn’t. Until this afternoon, while heating up some dinner and preparing to pray The Stations of the Cross, I thought, I should write a second Master & Margarita post and that can be my post-Easter post.
Instead of giving up for Lent, I decided to add. I didn’t start until week two but I went to Eucharistic Benediction twice a week, committed to no meat on Fridays, made an effort to pray The Stations on Fridays (not a complete success but did okay). I prayed the Rosary every night, and now guess what, I know how to pray the Rosary without reading from a booklet. I say the Angelus at least once a day, though I shoot for thrice, and usually hit twice. I’m going to pray the Rosary as many days a week as I remember and will attend Holy Hour on Wednesday mornings.
This Easter, I really really thought about Jesus Christ and his sacrifice. And, like my 12 year old self getting saved in a basement, really appreciated it. I am wow-ed by it. For me?! For a world with Tik-Tok and the World Baseball Classic?! For a world he would never know. Amen. Hallelujah.
I don’t sit in the back anymore. I sit on the right, so I can receive the Sacrament from the priest. I sit in the front, well not the exact front, but only 5-10 rows back; I am slowly but surely moving up. I can sing the Agnus Dei without music, but sometimes, I cry anyway.
Epilogue
Unfortunately, resurfacing this blog does mean a rewatch and reread of Preacher, so I can write Satan Part 2, which will be a round of Garth Ennis Satans (Hellblazer arc rounds out three) and maybe I’ll stay motivated enough for God, angels, and Jesus (someone has been watching the Chosen…). Maybe I’ll get Daniel to ruminate on these ideas as inspiration or another take. We’ll see. But in the meantime, there is years of Let Go and Let God to catch up on, two whole Testaments to read, and did you know there is a twenty-decade rosary? That’ll take awhile, even if you’re fast. See you right after that, promise.