The Four of Cups
On Blood Meridian, Tarot, and Re-
I used to read three books every single year. Starting in high school, through college, into my adult life in NYC, I read Gatsby every spring, Catcher every winter, and A Separate Peace in the fall1. Annotations show my handwriting change and the same Bible verses catch my eye then as now, but mostly they show how deep I was as a teenager. A handful of summers ago I read a bunch of urban fantasy novels I hadn’t read since I was a weird horny 16 year old and unfortunately realized there is no was in that particular equation. Books that I read 10, 15, 20 times as a kid felt fresh again, and scary. They reminded me of who I was then (scary) and who I am now (differently scary).
I hadn’t really thought about this until the other day when my beloved book club met to discuss Blood Meridian. I read McCarthy’s (alleged) masterpiece of an American novel back in November side-by-side with American Psycho which, along with a deep dive into Buffy the Vampire Slayer, made for some chaotic dreamscapes. I let it wash over me, starting my winter season thinking “that’s over and done with”. Eating breakfast with my cousin and her son and daughter, I yawned dramatically informing her I had many a nightmare because I was not reading a bedtime book. But alas, book club’s democratic system brought Blood Meridian to the top of our 2024 selections and I had to stare it down once again.
For my second visit, I slowed the pace, luxuriating in the sunsets and cacti and forced myself to read and re-read when the passages were boring, challenging, or violent. I was reading with and for my group and the experience of reading, and my experience with the novel itself, was entirely different. I managed to finish about a week before our meeting; I had forgotten the end of the novel, both how it ended and that those passages even existed. In fact, there were only a few passages I remembered. The final “cat and mouse” between the kid and the judge, the ambiance of the ferry scenes but none of the details, the mirrors on the horses of the first attacking Comanches.
Instead of rolling my eyes at the judge’s rock rants and war rants, I scrawled “this guy is for teenage boys who didn’t get fight club” in rebellion. But, more than anything, my second read was my second chance. Another opportunity to get it. I wanted to understand Blood Meridian. What made it worth the praise on the book jacket and from people I respect. I’m smart, I thought, surely I can understand the themes and message through the viscera. Thankfully, my struggle was not alone. B. opened our book club meeting with the tremendous question “can someone explain to me why this book is good”. MJ mentioned this was round four for him and by far the most enjoyable. Two reads to go, I guess. I tried to refrain from complaining (wah, I don’t get it) and instead willed myself to feel or think differently. What’s the point of getting it? What is there to get? What can I take away anyway?
During book club we ruminated that reading this novel is as close as we can get to the experience of riding with Glanton, the judge, the kid, Toadvine, and Davy “I’ll notify you where to put the coin.” Brown (pg 257).The text is neverending, the violence is never ending, even in his mature state the kid, briefly the man, cannot escape. The violence in American Psycho is formatted the same way, on and on and on and on and on and on until you’re so. sure. that it will be this way forever. But it’s not. That’s when the cacti enjoyment really kicks in. What beauty can I see and appreciate here?
In my focused state, and as a ~*crystals*~ guy, a recurrence caught my eye. Not enough to be a pattern but enough to be on purpose, we see the four of cups twice. Once offhandedly and once actively in the context of a Tarot reading. The single card draw is an interesting technique; one card, one chance. This scene ends with chaos, as do so many others but after the firelight reading, we don’t see any goodbye for the caravan and its occupants. They simply disappear from the story. They exist in the environment in the Tarot card but not pictured - behind the hill, in the next town over. The four of cups looks like this.
And this.
When I first looked up the card and its meaning, I was let down. I was expecting something obvious. Something more in the swords department. A solitary figure (pictured here as a man or a woman but I’ll stick to the Rider-Waite for rumination), eyes closed. Contemplative and quiet. Nothing like Blood Meridian. But as I’m typing this, certainly like the kid. Trying his hand at war just as he tries his hand with leather-working around the fire. The kid will be faced with a choice, perhaps not exactly in the form of the cloud-cup but perhaps just as mystical. tarot.com states Cups are about emotions, the soul, relationships. Once again, upon a second look, do I begin to understand why the four of cups is perfect for the kid. And perhaps, perfect for us readers.
Like Tarot, re-reading is a reflection of ourselves; we take away from the images and wonder what they could possibly mean. The point is that there is nothing exact to get, the point is to search and find meaning. A new inspiration for viewing the world around you. Each time a card is pulled, or a book is re-read, the context around it changes and we gain something new. Picture the four of cups - blue sky, green trees, tree roots, closed eyes. A cloud, a hand, a cup. Is it poison, is it power? We the readers are reflected in the kid’s humanity, and as H. mentioned during book club, in the moments of humanity when two characters are drawn together in a particular way. We are reflected in the judge. Animal instincts, rage. The killer we could be without structures of morality or contemporary society.
Is the cloud cup what the judge offers the kid, who rejects him, refusing to become a killer even when his life depends on it? Like a single card draw, Blood Meridian inspires questions and thoughts. It doesn’t provide any immediate or exact answers. Despite it all, the kid carries on, lead not into temptation. In the three cups on the ground he knows that he has everything he needs. And in the three cups on the ground, we know that we have everything we need to get it. Maybe someday, Blood Meridian will answer more questions than it asks but until then, I’ll keep reading.